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A Little More Social

Nicholas Epley

We know that social connection enriches our lives—so why do we hesitate to connect?

There is a fundamental paradox at the core of human life. We are a highly social species uniquely equipped to connect with other people and doing so is better for us. Yet we so often choose to be unsocial. We avoid talking to the stranger who sits next to us. We struggle to move beyond small talk with an acquaintance. We are reluctant to express our gratitude to people we appreciate. Every day, we avoid opportunities to connect with strangers, neighbors, colleagues, friends, and family. By missing those moments, we miss out on all the benefits of a more social life—one that is happier and healthier for everyone.

University of Chicago psychologist and author of Mindwise, Nicholas Epley has spent his career studying the way we connect, and he has found that our social fears often keep us from reaching out. But bridging the gap between two people is easier than we think—and success is more likely than we imagine. We just have to be a little more social.

Epley draws on decades of research, his own experiences, and the stories of everyday people to deliver groundbreaking conclusions about the psychology behind our social decisions. A Little More Social shows how we can put science into practice and change our lives, one small choice at a time.

Praise

“Nicholas Epley’s work is brilliant, fascinating and—particularly now—vitally important. Why do we, the most social species, often choose silence over connection? In A Little More Social, Epley shows us that our happiness, health, and longevity hinge on human connection—even though we underestimate the power of simply saying hello. Drawing on a decade of groundbreaking research and personal stories, Epley demonstrates how small acts of connection create profound results. Everyone should read this beautiful book—and learn to use the transformative power of reaching out to build a more meaningful life.” —Charles Duhigg, New York Times bestselling author of Supercommunicators and The Power of Habit

“A Little More Social explores the power and promise of the human connections that most of us never make—but could make so easily if we just opened our eyes. This is the eye-opener. Insightful, engaging, scientifically grounded and beautifully written, A Little More Social is one of those rare books that might actually change your life.” —Daniel Gilbert, New York Times bestselling author of Stumbling on Happiness

“I love this book! Truly, A Little More Social might change your life. A manifesto for our time, it explains why so many of us are substituting typing for talking, solitude for...

The Choice Audit
Activity for Living A Little More Social

For this activity, please reflect on the day you just had (either yesterday if you’re doing this activity in the morning or today if you’re doing this later in the day). Think about what you were doing each hour of the day, and record if you did that activity alone or with others (social) and if you felt positively or negatively about that hour/activity. Complete the table for each hour.

- How much of your day was spent alone?

- Were there moments that you could have chosen to be social but didn’t?

- What were the most positive moments in your day?

Activity found within the Appendix: 10 Steps for Living A Little More Social

Nicholas Epley

NICHOLAS EPLEY is the John Templeton Keller Professor of Behavioral Science and Faculty Director of the Roman Family Center for Decision Research at the University of Chicago Booth School of Business. He is the author of A Little More Social: How Small Choices Create Unexpected Happiness, Health, and Connection and Mindwise: Why We Misunderstand What Others Think, Believe, Feel, and Want. He lives with his family in Chicago.